Therefore I tell you: do not worry about your life.
What you will eat, what you will drink.
Or about your body.
Or what you will wear.
Is not life more important than food?
Is not the body more important than clothes?
Look at the birds of the air;
They do not sow, or reap, or save -
Yet your heavenly Father?
He feeds them.
Are you not much more valuable than they?
Who of you, by worrying, can add a single hour to your life?
And why do you worry about clothes?
Go look – and see how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or toil.
Yet I tell you that not even Solomon, in all of his splendor and wealth, was dressed like a flower in the field.
Not even Solomon, the man who impressed the Queen of Sheba.
If that is how God clothes the grass, which is here today, gone tomorrow,
will he not much more clothe you?
Oh you, oh you of little faith.
So do not worry, saying,
What shall I eat?
What shall I drink?
What shall I wear?
For those who do not know their Father run after all these things, and
Your heavenly Father knows that you need them.
But seek first his kingdom
and all these things will be given to you.
Do not worry about tomorrow,
for tomorrow will worry about itself.
Each day has enough trouble of its own.
that day you finally let go of false hope. the kind of hope that holds you back like none other. today, i finally released it and its a relieving, yet sad thing.
as many of you who have been following me for some time, know i have had a mutual relationship with a guy across the country (he lives in MT). this friendship developed into a relationship, where he became my best friend. we tried a relationship deal, but that didn’t work (for long distance reasons).
i love him to death, but today he was released.
we mutually decided that we can no longer hold onto this false hope that things will work out the way we want, that we’ll end up happily married like we’ve planned over the past four years. it just will not work, if it’s our plans. ultimately, God knows the plans and until they play out we cannot afford to put our lives on hold for each other. it’s exhaustingly, unfair. we have to plan phone call dates, hardly fit in a skype date, and texting has become our frequent form of communication.
how does a relationship exist on that?
God intended us, humans, to be in relationships with other humans (friendships and more). however, for the kind of relationship that M and I have been pursuing, i don’t think this is the relationship God intended.
we’ve let go of each other, we have been holding on for too long (four years in october). we will continue to be the best of friends, though right now we are going to separate ourselves a while.
i deserve human interaction with another male, with whom i have affection for. M deserves human interaction with another female, with whom he has affection for.
being intimate, even as simple as holding hands and embracing, has so much power in a relationship. and my goodness, i’ve missed that. shoot, something as simple as going to coffee or stopping to see him on a lunch break and visa versa, can place so much significance in a relationship.
i thank God with all of my heart for M, for everything he and i have been through (the good and the bad). i pray for him, that he can find the woman he’s prayed for all his life.
and i pray for myself, that i can find that Godly man, who will help me seek God more, who will make me want to strive to be a better woman, who will put God first in his life.
i pray for healing of this semi-broken heart, that God will quickly fill that hole back up with something more worthy, than the non-eternal.
i pray that i don’t wander back to this comfortable way of life, it’s a dangerous thing, not moving forward. i only need to get past the first step, and Lord know i need His strength.
i’m thankful of this sense of peace. i know i have the support of friends and family and i’m ever grateful for it! most of all, i’m thankful for Him, who provides all strength. there’ll be tough days, i won’t deny that, but it’ll make me lean more on Him.
thank you for this journey, M, and i pray for all the best in your life.
with all my love,
As a believer, you house the SAME Holy Spirit that Jesus was empowered & raised by. In this co-laboring relationship with God, faith creates a space and send an invitation for heaven to inhabit earth!